The lifestyle is a tricky place to navigate if you don’t do your research. Not everything about swinging is sexual or about being naked. (Although, those are some of the perks!)
For starters, if you are part of a couple, you should first focus on your communication with your partner. Talk about it! Talk about it! Talk about it! And just when you’re about to get sick to death from talking about it…Talk about it some more!! You can NEVER have too much communication.
Watch a porn, read some books on the subject, join a Facebook group (there is literally a Facebook group for EVERYTHING!!) I mean, come on…you do tons of online searching, looking and comparing before you pick a cell phone provider or purchase something on Amazon. The same, if not MORE, should be done when researching this major step in your relationship. Thinking about swinging can be a positive experience if done properly, so make sure you take it slow. Enjoy the buildup. Let it start off as a slow burn before you quickly add kerosene to your sparks. Some couples can and have just jumped right in and never gave it a second thought, but I assure you, they are just the exceptions to the rule and are a rarity. What works for some, may not even come close to working for you. Take things slow. Ease in. Baby step it. There are no rules to swinging other than the ones you set for yourself. And there is no right or wrong way to swing. If you and your partner are BOTH doing what works best for you, then how can that be wrong? Set boundaries right away and don’t tempt and tease those boundaries until you are both comfortable with the idea. Make sure you listen to your partner and respect any issue they may have.
Hot sex with multiples doesn’t just happen just because you THINK you’re ready. Make sure you KNOW before you GO. Set some limits and then carefully and playfully dance around them when you’re both absolutely ready and sure. Stay connected. Ask if your partner is okay and if they need anything. Ask if they want to stop. And always give each other the option that if they ever feel like they made the wrong choice that you would be okay with it, no matter what.
Start as a team, play as a team and go home as a team. Swinging isn’t just a feeling (although, those are pretty cool too). It’s a lifestyle choice. And it’s an emotional game changer that can either make you or break you. You just need to get it together, and use communication as a glue to KEEP IT TOGETHER.
And for all the singles, (or SWINGLES, as I like to call them) thinking about entering the lifestyle…be a little bit crazy. Be spontaneous. Be adventurous and embrace your inner wild child but always remember to stay thoughtful. Not just for other couples but for yourself as well. Stay healthy and always play safe and don’t let anyone over step boundaries you have to set for yourself as well. Being a swingle is just as much about YOU as it is about the couples you will meet in the lifestyle. Form a game plan and stick to it. Stay respectful of yourself and of the couples that you interact with. And just make sure you Know that not all couples think and live and play the same, so there will be a lot of adjusting having to occur on your part at times.
Essentially what I am saying is know what you want and never be afraid to ask…whether you are asking your spouse, or just asking yourself if it’s something you are really ready for. Taking a chance can be risky, but when done right the pay off can be immeasurable. So, Be generous. Be kind. And be ready to have the best time of your entire life.
***For the record, I am NO expert. I don’t even play one on TV. Far from it, actually.However, I am a swinger with nearly a decade of experience and while I may not know EVERYTHING, I can only state what worked for ME and this is it.This is ME, just sharing my slutty wisdom with YOU. You’re welcome, and stuff.***