Once upon a time, after my first visit to Hedonism, I remember sitting in the lobby surrounded by my luggage, waiting for the shuttle to take me home and just crying. I was weeping for all the things I was going to miss. I was sobbing for the freedom I would now be relinquishing once I stepped foot on the plane and returned to my normal. I was weeping for the absence of joy I was sure to feel once I walked away from this experience and started my journey back to the ordinary.
I was heartbroken because I was scared I would never know love and peace and freedom like I knew in this place.
And I wasn’t ready for it to be over. When you experience 30+ years of restriction and shame and anxiety and have this desire to be whole and never quite get there..it’s earth shattering how all it takes is one week on 22 acres to completely change the way you not only view your life, but you as a person as well.
All my insecurities, all my body image issues, all my fears, all my worries were just kissed away and embraced away by the sun, the sea and every person I was lucky enough to meet while I was there.
There is nothing more fulfilling or more satisfying than going on a trip hoping to enjoy a location and ending up falling in love with yourself.
So when people ask me why I love Hedonism, I never hesitate when I reply. I don’t want them to just think I liked it, I want them to KNOW I am changed and better because of it.
And where once upon a time, I cried when I was leaving, I now openly weep when I arrive because I am finally home. I am finally in the place where I can be me and be accepted and know no judgment and where every day that I am there I learn to fall in love with myself again.
And for me, even though my trips back there are the best thing ever, I find even more joy now in talking about it with others and sharing my enthusiasm in the hopes that they too will be brave enough to experience it for themselves. A job I now not only look forward to every day, but one I am not giving up any time soon.