This is me.
And, This is my body.
More importantly, This is me HAPPILY showing off my body. Something I never thought I would ever do. Something that very well would have never happened had it not been for Hedonism. When we first booked 5 years ago, all I wanted was a grown up vacation. And instead I got so much more than what I bargained for. I walked through the front doors absolutely sealed shut. In every way a person can be. And after spending less than an hour within the resort, I had every wall not only knocked down, but smashed to pieces where they fell. I can say this over and over until my face hurts, but sadly, no one is ever going to immediately believe me because body image issues are REAL and TRUE and can creep up your legs like ivy until they’re wrapped so tightly around you that they threaten to steal your last breath from your chest.
So, let me just say this… I know I’m not alone when I tell you that I don’t like what I see in the mirror. I know I’m not the only one who dims the lights or who pulls the sheets closer or who accepts the compliments but just doesn’t believe them to be true. And I know I’m not alone when I talk about the very real fear and anxiety behind WANTING to book a trip to Hedonism and NOT doing it because you think you won’t fit in. I’m familiar with those shoes and had worn them for a very, very long time before I experienced Hedonism with bare feet and pure heart. So, to answer your question…Hedonism IS filled with beautiful people. The resort is literally brimming to the top with perfection. It’s basically everywhere you look. It’s in the dining room, it’s in the nude pool, it’s in the gym, it’s getting a massage in the spa, and it’s singing in the piano bar. However, the definition of perfection you THINK you will find and what you will ACTUALLY stumble upon are completely two different things. It won’t look like the cover of a magazine. It won’t have smooth skin and rock hard abs. It won’t be flawless and camera ready, and it won’t be anything like you thought you imagined or feared.It will look like long lost friends reconnecting and having the time of their lives every year in their happy place. It’s the smell of a freshly opened bottle of wine shared with the love of your life. It’s the sound of a brave sarong being dropped to the floor, releasing years of pent up shame and hurt and allowing the sun to kiss it all away.
It’s nothing that you cold have ever planned for and everything you could have hoped for but never knew you always wanted.
The thought of going to Hedonism may cause anxiety and trepidation but it won’t last long. If you never trust anything that comes out of my mouth…please know you CAN trust this. Take the leap. Make the choice. Be brave. Book the trip and shake the walls you’ve built around your heart from their foundation and let the Hedonism Wrecking Crew handle the mess when you get there. Stop thinking so much and start planning your journey to freedom. Kick off those shoes that have been weighing you down and dance in the Caribbean rain because perfection, my dear, is not a person place or thing…but a feeling. It’s a moment. It’s a memory just waiting to be made. It’s an insecurity ready to be dropped like that sarong and left behind in the sand never to dim another light in your life again.
It’s a risk worth taking. And if this picture is proof of anything, it’s to show you that you won’t be taking that risk alone. So, let’s do this!!! Meet me in Jamaica and let’s be perfect together.